How I Escaped From Suffering and Stress
It's interesting…as I sit here to write a biography for the visitors to my website, I realize I have no interest in my past. At the age of 65 and after spending the last three decades committed to my personal and spiritual development, I realize that all that I want to be and all that I was, has now disappeared into the present moment, with my future and past of little interest or significance.
However I will do my best to recall my past so that I can communicate to you what has made me into the person I am today.
I had quite a promising start in life. Born into a stable family background in Belfast, Northern Ireland, and given a first class private education, my future seems bright and assured. I started out in life following my dream of being an architect and went to architecture school in Nottingham University in England.
I was one of the most promising students until I was rudely awakened from my middle-class privileged state of hypnotic slumber, in the form of a life changing event, the onset of paranoid schizophrenia, an incurable and serious mental condition that was prevalent on both sides of my extended family. This was my wake up call. I did not know it at the time, it just seemed like an unsought unfortunate happening that was undermining my youthful exuberance and ambition.
I went through a mental breakdown, spent some time in a mental hospital in Belfast and took a year off from my studies eventually returning to my architecture course. But I was a different person, I was more mature, less sure about everything and I had changed - instead of the cocky “A” student, I now struggled to pass any of my remaining exams.
I scraped through with my degree and applied for jobs. Any job I got I was unable to hold, because I could not perform at the required pace or standard. Then at the age of 30, after going off my medication, the condition kicked in again. I spent two years lost in what could only be explained as a state of insanity. For example, instead of cycling down a public road, I would freewheel in circles down the road oblivious to the danger I was putting myself and other road users in. I occupied myself with designing hang-gliders and putting the designs up on the walls of the house. These designs were irrational nonsense of no practical or aesthetic value.
After these two years my family managed to get me to take my medication again, and so I returned to the mental hospital to recover and gather my strength. Phew! After three weeks in hospital my consultant psychiatrist asked for a meeting. At the meeting he told me to stay on the medication which would help keep me mentally stable but to be aware that I would “probably never work again.”
I was then discharged to my parent’s home. When resting in their living room I suddenly started on a train of negative thought. “If I couldn’t work again, I wouldn’t ever have any money. If I couldn’t ever have money I wouldn’t be able to have my own home... if I couldn’t have my own home, I would never be able to get married.” My out-of-control mind painted an extremely negative picture of my future and I then panicked, became very anxious, ended up suicidal and was then taken back into the mental hospital. There I was diagnosed with acute depression and suicidal ideation.
I now had two mental conditions instead of one and was a complete mess.
I stayed in the mental hospital for three months, where they made sure I stayed on my medication for the schizophrenia. I was then released back to my home where I lived on my own and my parents (unbeknown to me) were advised to stay away.
I then spent about 18 months living alone in my home in an extremely distressed state. Most days I would get up and think of how I could end my life. For example when I came down for breakfast I would feel an urge to take out the kitchen knife and stab it into me. And when I walked the local bridge over the river Lagan I would feel a strong urge to throw myself off the bridge into the river.
Then my parents eventually decided to take me in and look after me, hoping I would recover enough to be able to live on my own again. I was 34.
Things couldn't get worse
One day while lying on the couch in my parents living room, fearful and distressed, thinking self destructive thoughts, I realized I could not go through with what these thoughts wanted and so I cried out for help. It was then then a more faint stream of thought appeared into my consciousness. This new stream of thought said, “If you are ever going to get out of this situation, you are going to have to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about someone else.” This stream of what I now know was inspired thought, then guided me to get a part-time job as a volunteer in a charity shop.
I don’t know if you have ever been extremely depressed, but it is a huge ask to get from where I was, lying on that couch every day, to working part-time in a charity shop. However by learning to trust, listen to and follow what I now know was my inner guidance, I managed to get a part-time voluntary job in an Oxfam second hand furniture shop in Belfast city centre.
This was the start of my relationship with my inner guidance - a relationship which was to completely transform my life.
Awakening to inner guidance
When I worked behind the till my inner guidance suggested that even though I felt terrible that I be the life and soul of the shop, by making jokes and bringing fun to the customers. Gradually after a few years I noticed a marked improvement. Then I was guided to work upstairs as a full time volunteer in the office. After a number of successful initiatives, all prompted by following my inner guidance, I ended up organising the most successful appeal ever run by Oxfam in Northern Ireland. It was so successful it was featured on stage in a local theatre and televised. I was invited to the celebration event. As I sat in the theatre watching the CEO of Oxfam being presented with the big check, I noticed that I had a big smile across my face, but this time the smile was not a pretend smile. It was genuine and I had been healed from my depression.
Shortly after this event, I realised it was time to move on and so I set myself up as a business consultant, using the creative skills I had learned as an architect and in Oxfam. I also had a huge spiritual opening experience in a local park, which opened me up spiritually to my inspiration and as a result of that started and wrote my first book, Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off - a book about how to live from your inner guidance.
Then as I was writing this book I was guided to help a friend set up a dating agency for spiritual people. As a thank you he gave me free membership. Through that agency I met the woman who was to become my wife and soulmate and I moved to Dublin in the Republic of Ireland, to get married and move into Carolyn’s house.
So all the beliefs I had when I was stressed and unwell that I would not be able to get married and have a house were over-turned and came true in the most surprising of ways!
A new life in Dublin
When I arrived in Dublin I needed to start over so I set myself up as a life coach and after a few years working in the field of personal development, was invited to collaborate with Peter Shepherd, who was running one of the world's biggest personal development websites, Trans4mind.com.
As part of my work for our website, I took on the task of answering queries sent in by readers of our online magazine, which was emailed to 80,000 subscribers every week. Peter and I collected all these queries and my answers and cataloged them under different headings on Trans4mind. Then one day I received powerful inspiration to offer a training course on each of these life challenges in Dublin city centre.
It was about this time, partly as a result of the feedback we were getting, that the 29 life challenges that we trained people in, actually represented the human condition, as they came from primary research and formed a complete training curriculum in every major challenge a person could experience.
After running the course for two years successfully in personally-run workshops, I got huge inspiration to put the whole training online in the form of video workshops, to make it accessible to many more people. So Peter and I formed a company with the last €60,000 we owned and employed the services of a business consultant. I could see from conversations I had with her that we were going to need to invest a lot more than the €60,000 we had already committed so I employed her to help me create a great presentation for an investor.
I then phoned a friend who I knew had a significant sum invested in banks and I also knew he did not particularly like banks. So I phoned him up and asked him if he was willing to hear an investment proposal. He said he would. So I booked the best presentation room in the best hotel in Belfast and travelled North to present my business proposal. At the end of the presentation he jumped to his feet and said “That’s the best investment proposal I have ever heard and do you want me to invest now!”
The start of Trans4mind Training
That evening I drove back to Dublin with the funding to start our project: Trans4mind Training. Other investors followed and asked if they could invest. Then through working with the business consultant, I realised we would need a big team to create the 29 online video workshops and the associated training platform. Amazingly I assembled this expert team without any help from LinkedIn, advertising or publicity and financed the company without any venture capital or grant funding. This meant we were free to focus all our efforts on building the training product without getting sidetracked into looking for staff or funding.
I then ran Trans4mind Training as CEO and led the team of 18 people to build the company from offices recommended to us by our bank manager in Dublin Technical University. Throughout this whole venture I never experienced any stress even though my schizophrenia made me extremely sensitive in this area.
I was able to use the personal development skills I had learned over the years to avoid any stress developing in my mind. And then, because I didn’t get stressed in the first place, I realised that if I do not get stressed, I can be extremely sensitive to stress but it need not inhibit me, like my psychiatrist thought it would.
Our online training is designed to take people to that place beyond stress which we call unshakable inner peace. We also developed an online service for measuring how closely people come to unshakable inner peace as they progress with our online training. This scientific approach means people not only solve their personal and professional challenges as a result of our training they also feel better and also understand why these improvements are happening.
After 2 years we had the business built and began taking it to market. We tried a number of markets with varying levels of success when I was approached by our Chief Technical Officer who asked for a private meeting. At the meeting I asked “What’s up?” Aidan said, “The problem with this company is you Wallace. You’re too kind, you’re too compassionate, you’ve no guile or cunning. You’re a very innocent man and other CEOs feel uncomfortable around you. This means they don’t want to do business with us.” He then talked for an hour and made the case for him to run the company.
I listened intently and carefully to everything he was saying, then asked for 3 minutes to walk around the building. When I came back into our office I said, “That’s the best explanation of a business situation I’ve ever heard Aidan. From now on you are running Trans4mind Training” and packed up my belongings and left. I was able to take such a big and unusual decision so quickly because by now I was completely trusting of my inner guidance.
I then spent 3 weeks at home without any direction or purpose. Then Carolyn my wife said we had been offered the use of her brother’s holiday home in Wicklow and did I want to go? I jumped at the opportunity.
All comes together
Then that weekend in the rural holiday home I had a huge Spiritual Awakening, the biggest experience of my life. I realised that what had happened as a result of this Awakening, was that my spiritual energy had been activated and I had come into complete alignment with my True Self, a unique Self most people do not even know is inside them because it's covered over with a lifetime of conditioning. As a result I felt lost and disorientated for about 6 months. Then I gradually settled into my new role as a Spiritual Teacher.
Shortly after setting myself up as a Spiritual Teacher, Aidan died unexpectedly. However all the resources of Trans4mind Training remain available as support and training for students of my Spiritual Teaching, alongside the comprehensive personal development resources to be found at Trans4mind.com, which Peter continues to make freely available.
So now I am an established Spiritual Teacher, who lets himself be discovered by people who are ready, through my Meetup site - a Teacher with world class resources and trainings to back up and support my teaching!
My wife often says “Life has a funny way of working out.” Now I know what she means!
If you would like to learn more about what I can offer, look though this website for references to my Meetups, my book and my training, and you will discover as well as my spiritual teaching, all that is available to you.
I look forward to serving you as your Spiritual Teacher.
~ Wallace Huey