How Spiritual Awakening Ends Loneliness
I was having a coffee break pre-Covid with the Chaplin of the university where we based our company. I was sharing how, as I progressed on my spiritual path, opportunities and friendships had fallen away or dissolved. I was explaining how this was the nature of the spiritual path, to strip us bare and leave us on our own. I could see the Chaplin shuffle more and more uncomfortably as I was speaking. Then she said, “Does this mean you will not belong anywhere?” I nodded in agreement. Then she got up and left. The truth of the spiritual life was simply too much for her to bear.
Nearly everyone tries really hard to belong. The one thing that freaks people out is being rejected. Now here’s the rub. If you are walking the spiritual path, you will be rejected, guaranteed - and by nearly everyone! Why is this? Because as your consciousness evolves, you may no longer want to go to the soccer match with your football buddies. This will create more loneliness for you. Then as you face into the pain of this loneliness and let it go, you grow more spiritually. Then you may not fit into family relationships like you used to and your family start and reject you. You face a deeper loneliness and as you feel the pain of more rejection, and let it go, you grow some more - and so the cycle of rejection and spiritual growth continues for as long as you stay on your path.
And this will continue until we have a spiritual awakening. Once we are past our awakening, we find ourselves on the fast track to integration, unity consciousness and enlightenment. Before long, (one to four years), this heals us of our remaining loneliness and replaces it with the bliss of solitude. In solitude, there is no pain and no neediness either. True we may prefer company, we may prefer for others to like us and want to be in our company, but we don’t need this. And that's a big difference. It’s the neediness that causes the suffering.
And a big part of the journey to enlightenment, involves this stripping away of everything and everyone, to whom we have an attachment. And the spiritual path does this through isolation, rejection and loneliness.
Eventually we emerge from our long period of loneliness to delight in our own company. We have become sovereign, surrounded with the perfume of love - not dependent on anyone. And the strange paradoxical nature of spirituality means that as a result, all our relationships improve. We find we are only relating to those people who want to be with us and that when we are with them our relationships are much more harmonious. We feel a wonderful spaciousness and freedom. We have come full circle and find it easy to relate to any kind of person anywhere.
We no longer need people to be “spiritual”. We recognize all kinds and types of relationship as spiritual, because we see the kindred spirit shining out of every person and we ourselves are entirely free of judgement. This means all our relationships are filled with love, acceptance and appreciation.
Before enlightenment, we chopped wood and carried water, and after enlightenment, we did the same thing, and maybe with the same people, but did so while radiating love, joy and appreciation - and thats what makes the difference. For the first time we are truly ourselves, alone and sovereign and also, and at the same time, completely at one and related in love.
That’s the paradox at the end of the healing journey.